The experiences bestowed by Kanchi-Mahaswami — Part 53 : I Lived with a Saint
https://www.thuglak.com/thuglak/main.php?x=curissue/ninaithu_paarkiraen_03_11_2021.php
Author : Sri S.Gurumurthy
Translator : C.Rangarajan
In August 2012, my mother at the ripe age of 97 merged in Oneness. That loss affected me and my family, extensively. Some part of us was lost, permanently. I would narrate about my mother and our experiences of living with her. R.Vaidyanathan, the editor of Dinamani newspaper was one among them.
Essay on my Mother in 2013
He was moved too and further said, “You should write about your mother in our newspaper. Now, people should know more about such people”. Until then, I had neither written about my personal life nor had the intentions. While getting interviewed in the English media, I would share little interesting nuggets about my family. I mentioned, “ My Mother’s life was different from the current trend — forward-thinking, modern life, Individual & Women’s liberty. It would go against the grain. If the writeups lead to disputes that may tarnish her name. Then, It will not be easy for me to digest it”.
Vaidyanathan confirmed further, “don’t worry about that. Such pure life may not be accepted by the modern thinkers but they will not object”. In that emotional state, I wrote a lengthy essay on my Mother. It was published by the Dinamani on 11-May-2013 on the occasion of International Mother’s day and aptly titled, “ Celebrate Mother, Celebrate Motherhood”. I was stunned by the reception it had received. Many, cutting across the caste-religion divide had written to Dinamani and personally to me also. Some called me in an emotional state. Some had cried. It was a new experience for me.
Then, I realized that modern society welcomes a pure soul & their lifestyle, even if it is not accepted by the progressives. Through the internet, the essay reached out to many. When I started sharing my experiences in the Thuqlaq magazine, many had requested to share that article. Since the broad theme was how I was groomed by the elders (Kanchi Mahaswami, RSS leaders, and others) then I thought this article too will find its place. It was approved by our internal group.
Head of a joint family & their God too
She had tremendous willpower that was never shaken by poverty or family problems; Later, she remained the same when fame & money were showered on the family; without any hesitation, she practiced “Widow Dharma” for 58 years as per the Sastra; She approached the life with total detachment towards small or large temptations; she tirelessly worked for the welfare of children, family members, kith & kin; she was devoted to God, elders and in particular to Kanchi Mahaswami; without big advice, she had the “Tapobalam” to change people’s heart. Think of a personality that is comprised of such noble qualities. That noble personality was laid to rest on 7th Aug 2012 at the ripe age of 97. Though I was blessed with many accomplishments & fame, I considered that being the son of Smt. Lakshmi Ammal is the topmost achievement. She lived a life of Sannyasa in family life and her success mantra was a life wedded to morality, a family committed to maintaining Dharma and selfless people, who work for others’ well-being.
If 4 Daughters-in-law talks in favor of a Mother-in-law then that person should be a caliber of the highest order; isn’t it? In the last 9 years of her life, she was disabled to take care of herself and was ably served by the DIL. They were devoted to that service. After the death of their favorite Mother-in-law, they continue to think about her — She was their Mother, Teacher & Guide; She taught them Aacharam (Etiquettes), culture, pathi-bhakti, good conduct, values of the joint family system, and many more. They missed her, genuinely.
Even the grandchildren, grandchildren-in-law took time to come out of that shock. Her family included — 4 sons, 1 daughter, their respective spouse, 15 grandchildren, and 17 great-grandchildren. Not only, she was the head of the entire family but their family deity too. She invested her time in the development of daughters-in-law and their offspring. She had helped in the all-around growth of two generations. People who knew my family will vouch for each word of mind. It will not be approved by the west-oriented intellectuals. But, a lifestyle meant for all seasons that will generate inner to all the members in the family.
Struggle against poverty & petty mindedness
She had neither been to a formal school nor taught formally. She could read. She was born in Panaampattu village, near Vizhupuram, TN. She got married to my father, Swaminathan at the age of 8. He was a farmer from the same village. In the 1950s, due to the failure of seasonal rains for many years, we were forced to sell our lands and got into the grip of poverty. In 1955, my father had died. She was 39. After that, she had to struggle against poverty and was discarded by her relatives. Until my brothers got employed in Chennai, we were haunted by poverty. She continued to live in the same village until we came out of poverty and our family pride was restored. I completed my school education and moved to the city along with her.
She was determined to come out of the village victoriously, rather than exit in a losing manner. Her ‘Vairagya’ helped her at all times to maintain the inner balance amid fame, abuse, and many others. It was the greatest gift given to me by her. She bought her own house after the 1st generation got settled. Until then, we were living in a rented house. Not many were ready to accommodate us and she withstood that insults with a smile.
She continued to maintain her balance
Slowly, her assets and status started growing. The same set of people who had discarded her earlier had come seeking her blessings. She was the same persona at all times and maintained steadiness at both times. She had two white sarees in her possession. Beyond that, she did not have anything. Therefore, there was no need for almirah, lockers, etc. Her possessions were:
- A mat to sleep
- A gunny sack to sleep during the rainy/winter season
- A wooden plank as a pillow
- A small jar for drinking water
- A thulasimala for performing japam
- A newspaper, Dinamani to read in the daytime
- Ramayana, Mahabharata & Kandapuranam books to read in the nighttime
- A hand-fan to cool herself
She did not want to add any further. Until she was active, she was sleeping on the floor. Only when her hip was broken, she agreed to sleep on the cot. That was the only change before and after 2004.
The hand that cooked, served till the age of 87
Upanishads say to overcook “Annam”. Lord Krishna encourages to offer to others before eating the food. Without reading them, she was doing both. Other than the family members, 5–6 relatives, friends would stay with us. With firm faith in her accommodating attitude, many from our village would alight at our house, who were in pursuit of a job or higher studies. In addition to us, there would be floating guests, RSS friends, and others. She would cook and serve to all of them. After that, she partakes her food.
Since 1964, she was our family doctor and depended on traditional medicines to cure us. Her cooking was based on a health-based diet. She had the belief that through food, one can maintain one’s health. We were all blessed to have good health because of that. She would get up at 4.30 am, clean the home, and draw rangoli with a continuous chant of Shlokas. This habit continued until she was bedridden. On average, she would work for 13–14 hours a day. The remaining time was spent in nama-Japa and sleep. She was like fire when it comes to maintaining “Aachaaram”. Even, if any one of us wanted to sleep on her lap, we would be allowed only when she retires to sleep.
A monk like attitude towards gold
She lost all her gold due to poverty. After becoming a widow, she never touched them. We wanted to do kanaka-abhisheka but she refused. When she was cremated, we placed a gold coin on her body but it remained unblemished, mostly. The crematorium caretake wondered at that and mentioned that he had never witnessed such in his career. While manicuring her, the grandchildren use to wonder about the state of her body. She was having a Yogi’s body
Still, I am my Mother’s child
When I became famous as an auditor as well as a journalist, my Mother never boasted about my achievements. When I was arrested in 1987, she stopped talking to anyone and did not take food properly, until I came out. She thought that I brought a bad name to the family. After reading the newspapers, she got the clarity on the matter. Subsequently, her mental pressure (that her Son did something bad) got relieved.
I use to wonder, why she was so disinterested in my achievements. I got the answer for that. I am just one among her children and she treated all of our achievements, equally. This was essential to maintain unity in a joint family. When our visitors that included National leaders, business leaders, writers, intellectuals took blessings from her, she remained calm and never got excited. As mentioned before, the balance was maintained at all points in her life.
A model Mother
She was a role model and not an exception. Such role model mothers are part of our Indian society, who sacrifices their body, mind, and soul for the family and the society. Hence, we can protect our society, culture, and families. Also, it keeps the economy of the family in a stronger position.
I can write much more about my Mother. Even today, I became speechless with tears in my eye, when I think about her. I had the experience of living with a saint. It helped to retain balance in my life.
Postscript:
When she was carrying me, she had a dream. In the dream, Kanchi Mahaswami threw a Tulasi mala on her. My uncle, Kannan, who was serving Kanchi Mahaswami mentioned the dream. The Saint explained, “ Let the newborn assume a name that has Guru in it”. I consider my birth itself was due to the blessings of Mahaswami.
